Doctor’s 4-month visit was Friday.  Jonah is climbin’ the charts and is now in the 25% percentile.  Woot!  That is what 5 1/2 ounces of milk every two hours will do to you.  (5 1/2 gummi peaches every two hours however, work even faster, I know).  He has been kindof “off” the past week in the sleep department.  As in, he likes to wake up every two hours again!  YAY!!!!!!  Then, on Friday I forgot how bad he would be after getting his shots.  He was bad at his two month ones, too.  So, he was way OFF this weekend.  And, I earned the Mother of the Year award by forgetting he had the shots and not giving him Tylenol Friday night but wondering why he was sleeping even worse than earlier in the week! 

He didn’t sleep, he didn’t nap, he ate very little…  but he smiled.  I am not sure where this kid got his pleasant demeanor.  While feeling crappy, he would give you a weaker version of his ear to ear grin when you told him jokes.  He is seriously, the best baby ever.  I mean, of course I think that!

Plus, how cute does he look in a snowsuit?

This cute!

"Let's do this!"

Friday night we went to a party at the bowling alley with Santa!  Who knew that’s where you’d find Santa!

We didn’t stay long at the party due to the fact that I was falling asleep while standing and it was way past bedtime, but Jonah did really well.  He was a bit unsure of all the noise and commotion, as usual, but the shots hadn’t set in fully yet so he was quite pleasant.  And, he finally pooped someone!  Lol… All these horror stories of that occuring and here we had not had the pleasure of that experience.  Until now!  Sorry, Aunt Chris!  (this is why Jonah is not wearing socks in his Santa picture and his pants are like 4 inches too short.)

problem solved!

Apparently, Sarah, you incorrectly thought he outgrew this.  Thomas loves knee-jumping.   

Other things that Thomas loves…

Knee-snacking

Me!!!

We all know that babies bring on big changes.  Like, for instance, they make you give up your walk-in closet and move your bedroom (using the term “walk-in” very loosely here, folks)!  Babies make you go to sleep at 8 pm…..  and 10 pm and 1pm and 4pm… Babies make you never leave your house and funnily enough, resentful when you actually get to leave.  They make you outspoken; way less likely to put up with all that crap in the rest of your life because it’s suddenly not worth the wasted energy.

Recently I have realized how big those changes could be. 

I have now gone back to work full-time and it took my heart exactly three days to split apart at the seems and fall into pieces around everyone’s feet.  (This is how I pull everyone into my drama.   It’s my heart’s fault, when it falls, it crashes and spreads shards on the floor that people step on like land mines.)

So, after working three ten hour days, I had a breakdown. Daily.  I knew it would be hard to be away from Jonah, but he’s with my mothers and sister so I didn’t worry about his happiness or care.  Have you seen the look he gets when he’s dropped on Grandma’s doorstep?  It’s like “HOLY SHIT I LOVE YOU.”  But, that drive to be physically with your child… no one ever warned me about all these instincts that my more primitive side has (Although the whole “chicken incident“ should have convinced me that my more primitive side is strong.)  Moms have to be with their young.  It’s like, required in my dna somewhere. Who knew?  And the real killer here is not work itself, but four tens.  Thank you, Governor.  (Post on how to solicit the Governor to create more family-friendly work place coming up).

This has all led Dusty and I down a very interesting path of discussion.  Could we live on one income?  Absolutely!  Would we be financially better off if we had two?  Absolutely!  What would we sacrifice if we only had one income?   Would we live somewhere (in an un-named suburb (sorry those who live there,  I’m totally prejudiced)) because we can afford more house (and a heated house, at that)  for less money and spend less on gas?  Yes, we would, if it came to that.    We decide that if it comes to it, I could stay home, in a cookie cutter suburban house in Davis County with NO CAR while Dusty works two jobs.  I would work a part time job on the weekends waitressing or something for extra cash.  I could sell caramels or socks from my home.  We would have to have a tarp for a garage door because we are so poor…. oh wait… we have that now!  Now it’s just because we are trashy and classless, later it will be because we are poor.

Wow.  Masters Degree ain’t gonna help me much in that dream world! Not that it’s done me any favors lately anway.

Where we have ended, or I should say are temporarily teetering is luckily nowhere near Davis County.  (I love that everytime I say that I am offending a whole bunch of you!  I am a fat jerk, you already know this!)

Despite being ready to bag it all last week, I have talked to my work to allow me to remain working full time, just a flexible 40 hrs.  I will work Monday through Thursday but get out of work early and then work nights / weekends / whenever to make up the time.  This ensures I am with my baby every afternoon until he goes to sleep at night (or doesn’t, as the case may be).  And, the option exists to go down to 20 hrs a week with no benefits if I can’t keep up with 40.  Everyone at work is adjusting their schedules and duties.. all so I can be a good mommy. 

I am a lucky gal.  I know this.  I have a great job with great benefits and a husband telling me I can throw it all away if I want.  I have parents (and parents in law) that take care of my life and sleep on my hardwood floor and make me soup and send Jonah home with strange new toys so that I can do it all.  I have a sister who has a child of her own and is willing to take mine even though I am not repaying the favor.  It’s like …  do other people have so many things working in their favor?  Unlikely.

I am not trying to brag, I am not trying to say that I MUST stay working because I am so blessed.  I’m just saying it’s cool.  And what brought me to a breakdown the other day has managed to be the broom and dustpan that I needed to sweep up my delicate little heart and shove it back in my chest where it can hopefully tic for a while, ignored.   I’m excited at the changes that my life could and will go through.  I’m excited to end up in a small house packed to the gills with people and dogs and dirty snow sludge and rude rude cats.  We need to move to Montanna?  Rad!  We need to move into a SMALLER HOME (not a threat because it is physically impossible)  BRING IT ON!!!!  I need to work every waking hour when I’m not with Jonah?  Fine.   I’ll adjust.  And even better, I’ll know when the moment comes that I should.

Awwwww

Yesterday was too busy for us to really talk about it, but when I asked him today what he was thankful for, Jonah said he is thankful for the doctor who rubbed his head when he was in the birth canal and he is thankful that his view is finally way better than the inside of mom’s pelvis.  He is thankful for this bear suit that Amber Thota gave us because he needs something warm to wear when his mommy makes him go on walks to Beans and Brews.  He also said that he is most thankful for his grandmas and his aunt Sarah and the precious time he gets to spend with them.  He is also thankful for Uncle Max, but he couldn’t explain why.  I told him it’s OK, we all feel like that.

I am most thankful that all my son ever wants to do is smile and usually has the above look on his face, waiting patiently for the moment you gaze at him to show you the cheesiest grin you’ve ever seen.

We were eating lobster last night (because it was fun and on sale).  Ricky and Toni were over and Dusty decided to give Ricky a pop quiz.

“What kind of animal is a lobster?” asked Dust.

Ricky appeared confused, so Dust clarified, “Like what family in the animal kingdom are they?”

“Mr. Lobster and Mrs Crab.” answerd Ricky.

Quiz over.

This is one of my last Mondays off before I will again spend them working.  I have been worried about food and how we will eat Monday through Thursday.  I am not one of those people who can just throw something together last second; have a mismatched meal.  Cereal and leftover funeral potatoes?  Very rarely will I do such a thing.  I’m not sure what it is, but I have to have a proper dinner.  (It’s called being a big fat pig… but shhhh, that is a secret).

So, today, one of my last Mondays, was practice.  And Jonah must have gotten the message.  Because last night, he again slept for 5 straight hrs!  From 8 – 2.  Wait, holy hell, that is 6.  That explains a lot.

So since 7 am (it’s now 3) I have done a 30 minute report for work, fed my baby three times (including one bottle of formula, our newest trick), gotten him down for two naps, talked on a conference call for work for 1 hr, showered, cataloged recipes from online that I want to make, swept and washed the floor (by hand), paid some bills, made homemade oven cleaner and cleaned the oven (I hate the thought of baby + oven cleaner), made split pea soup, made a meatloaf, went  for a walk with Beulah and Jonah, put new sheets on our bed and washed two loads, prepared individually packed things in the fridge for this week’s lunches, AND played with Jonah/entertained him sufficiently. Oh, and I pumped twice because Jonah, after putting his nose in the air at bottles when being babysat and opting to spend the time screaming his head off instead of eating, has a new rule:  only bottles during the day.  Kindof a pain when I am home, but worth it.

I told Dusty that it was utterly amazing what I could accomplish when sufficiently charged, and he said “sounds like you had a very cracked – out day.”

ABSOLUTELY!  It’s awesome!!

What? You would like to walk through our  living room?  You’ll have to move the dog bed and baby bouncer first.  Well look, you moved them to the dining room, and now I can’t get to my computer! 

You would like to put Jonah in his pack n play instead of his crib for the moment?  Well, then you need to unload the pack n play and put the blankets, sweatshirts, and Dusty’s laptop somewhere else.   You put them on the bed, but then Beulah lays on all of them and you have to move the blankets and the sweatshirts to the dirty clothes pile.

What helps in this situation?  Well, as I mentioned previously needing to work on Jonah’s sleeping, we have mastered the “sleeping in crib at night.”  However, we have not mastered “sleeping in crib for naps.”  I’m a bit anxious about it, but I am not forcing the issue right now because he falls asleep, and if placed nicely in his stroller, sleeps FOREVER!  (Usually).  He will sleep for over three hours at a time, so I usually end up waking him so we can do a second nap later.  I have found this habit of his to be a blessing in disguise.

You have to go to the bathroom and, I don’t know, want to FLUSH THE TOILET this time?  Why, just push Jonah to the other side of the kitchen and feel free.  Want to turn on the kitchen water, or maybe the dishwasher?  Push him on into my bedroom.  Oh no, it’s time for me to put away clothes or take a nap myself?  Push him back to his bedroom. 

The other night Dusty came home from work at like 8 pm.  I had gotten Jonah down for bed in his crib and would not let Dusty heat up his dinner in the microwave.  He had to leave the house and get take out, that’s much quieter. If he had been in his stroller, I could just push him out to the front porch so Dusty could eat some dinner.

This, my friends, is what all those clowns feel like inside that little itty bitty car.  I know it’s real funny from the outside, but it’s not pleasant having someone’s leg wrapped around your waist, or their claws in your thigh, whatever the case may be. OUR HOUSE IS TOO SMALL but at least Jonah is sorta helping that situation right now by falling asleep in something with wheels. 

Yes, I know that napping babies need to get used to the normal sounds of a house, but let me explain:  Jonah has a bedroom that sits between the bathroom and the kitchen.  He is also right by the back door that leads to the laundry, and directly above the laundry.  I mean he is like 4 feet away from both the toilet and the dishwasher.  The kicker is that his room has the secret entrance to the attic, otherwise known as the Cat Penthouse.  Olive hides in Jonah’s room and in the attic because she is a freak.  So, I can’t close the one of two doors to his room because she will paw and scratch at it and meow and freak the hell out in order to get in there because there is nothing she finds more terrifying as footsteps… or leaves blowing on a window… or breathing.  So  I leave the door to the kitchen open, Preventing me from doing anything in the kitchen or the laundry because the house was built in 1891 and everything is extremely loud!

Also.. said cat has a tendency to have little spurts of energy in the evenings where she meows and hisses and literally climbs the walls.  I was nursing Jonah last night, waiting for him to fall asleep, and she was jumping on his changing table, trying to get into the windowsill which would have knocked everything off the top of the dresser onto the floor.  I chased her out of the room (kid attached) and she proceeded to attack my feet. I then closed the other kitchen door, so there were two closed doors between her and us, so she could freak out at the other door, but not the door to Jonah’s room.

The clown house is getting old.  This is what makes all those clowns go crazy and start killing people.

I believe my son has come down with a case of rabies…

And I’m pretty sure I know how he got it